Malaprops

A nano-second is an extremely brief amount of time (as intended by the author who wrote nana second).

Seen in I crawled over to the keyhole to take a look-see at what was happening in the room next store.

These would be homonyms except that a shift of accent causes them to be pronounced differently.

This error is caused by mispronouncing the contraction would've.

[Using one of these for the other is a very common typographical error and indicates a total lack of proofreading.]

[One author consistently used on when he meant one.]

[As with of and off, using one of these for the other is a very common typographical error.]

Seen in: It was dark and took a few minutes to a gust from the out door summer brightness to the gloom of the bar.

Seen in a hell ova lot.

Parameter is one of the most abused words in modern English. If you are not discussing mathematics, avoid using this word.

See also the homonyms peaked, peeked, and piqued.

per

for each, for every; according to, in accordance with

say

speak, talk

Seen in perspective buyers. Since the context was about an art show, this was an unintentional pun.

The expression is Little pitchers have big ears. This is a pun based on the term ear used for the handle on a pitcher, even small pitchers tend to have large handles or ears. The expression is a metaphor for how small children eavesdrop on adult conversations.

Seen in ball ping hammer

A ball-peen hammer has a ball-shaped peen used to make dimples in decorative metal work or to spread the end of a rivet thus securing it in place.

Seen in one of the key pints of the investigation

In Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker, one of the dances is "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" (not "Sugar Plumb").

Seen in love portion

Seen in the name of a school without humorous intent.

For some reason, educators who should know better too often use remediation when they mean remedy

Seen in tough road to hoe

The phrase tough row to hoe refers to hoeing between rows of vegetables in a garden where the soil, roots, or closeness of the rows makes the work difficult. Metaphorically, this phrase refers to any difficult, ongoing task.

Seen in rot iron.

Seen in row call

Seen in rube socks, thus hillbilly socks

Tube socks are straight with neither a heel nor a bend at the heel.

• ruck: great mass of undistinguished or inferior persons or things
• stack: orderly pile or heap

Thus, an orderly pile of inferior persons.

scarred: marked with a scar

I once read a story in which the author used both sacred and scarred where he obviously meant scared.

savoir: (French) know, as in savoir faire (literally: to know how to act; idiomatically: to know how to do or say exactly the right thing without any effort)

sever: cut off

savor: enjoy with pleasure

The phrase is deep seated, not deep seeded

Obviously, this is a typo — one of those that no spell-checker could catch.

So are you to my thoughts as food to life

Shakespeare

Relative to a three-dimensional reference frame, an object might have motion that slews side-to-side, pitches up and down, rolls, or any combination of those three.

• pronounced sloo: a bog (In this case, the error was a homonym, not a malaprop.)
• pronounced sluff: to shed or cast off (e.g., a snake's old skin)

You will often find a nightstand next to a bed. (one word, not two; not night stained)

Seen in the sunlight was steaming into the room

In a story's chapter on camping, the phrase strike camp was used in a context that clearly meant set camp. In this case strike was the exact opposite of what was meant.

Seen in bleed like a stuffed pig.

Obviously, if you pierce a pig with a sharp object, it will bleed like a stuck pig.

Soot might result from burning suet.

The idiomatic expression I followed suit [not suite], which means I did the same, derives from playing a card of the same suit as the previous card that was played.

Thus, in tact refers to in that skill.

though is sometimes abbreviated as tho, but not in serious writing.

(often seen misspelled tounge)

toe the line: carefully obey the rules (from the rule that a runner in a track event must not have even a toe over the starting line)

Note: Writers too often confuse these, with either one being used when the other is meant. That might be the result of typing too fast without proof-reading.

(These are not pronounced exactly the same and thus are not homonyms.)

Seen in blood vesicle

[Using one of these for another is a very common typographical error and indicates a total lack of proofreading.]

Seen in the phrase worm handshake

Seen in Spartans? Isn't that the group of Greece [sic for Greek] worriers …